Expectations

Only doing what's expected of me
Only saying what you need to hear.
Not going to prove that I'm not the quiet one
because sometimes I am.
And I don't care.

Absolutely nothing.

It's a constant struggle. Not to hide.
I guess I never really left that behind.
Because often I still feel like I'm 13 years old
And absolutely nothing.

Sorry, Rain, Better

I just really really hope you're doing ok. I felt so small and sorry.
It's really selfish of me to want you to come back, but I do. I did.
I just want you to be ok, and happy. I just want it to get better,
you deserve to for things to be better.

I'm selfish and lazy and I have horrible timing.
I don't want to sleep until everything's better.
I miss how loud the rain sounds in my old room.

Stop already.

We could do this without getting angry.
There's no reason why you can't just give me what I want.
It wouldn't cost you anything; I don't see why you can't just do something decent.
Maybe I only appear so fragile and afraid, so in need of protection
because I've never had the chance to be anything otherwise.
One of the few escapes; And now it's an argument.

I don't really care why you're so fucking angry.
I just want to to stop already.

Dreams

I have nightmares where I'm walking in a crowded place and I can't keep my feet on the ground, like I'm floating. I'm floating away but trying to walk at the same time. And I'm the only one, and no one notices but I'm so afraid they will.

Name

It's strange when you say my name.
You never call me by it,
Only say it to other people.
It's very odd.

Freedom

When I die it will most likely be a suicide.
I'll find my freedom, when I can't take it anymore.
I'll most likely go insane. If I'm Lucky.
When I can't find the words anymore.

Loud

You're so loud. Everything you do is angry.
Why do you have to talk so much? It doesn't make you better.
Too many adults
Who are unhappy
and like to argue.