Kissed

When I think about it, I've never kissed anyone
I've always been the one getting kissed.
But I really just want to be kissing you again :)

"One of us has to drive, One of us gets to think"

I don't know what I'm doing,
But I like that you kiss me goodbye.
I wish we could be back in your bed holding hands.
I would tell you everything.
But I can't have a good conversation
When I'm always the one driving.

Even Now

After that awful night, I kept thinking of you.
And how you would have thought I was disgusting.
Everything I do, I measure it up to what you used to think of me.
Even now, I still try to live up to that girl.
Even now, that you don't think of me at all anymore.
That's what I should be embarassed about.
Not about stumbling out of that room
Or how it looked when I did
But That I still think you're great.

Barefeet

I don't know how it feels to love your parents that much.
There's so much that I'm not sure how to do.
You've broken me, all the things I can't change.
My anxiety, and how I don't like to talk.
But since I've been lying you like me better.

Disgusted.

Your laugh seems forced and unnatural.
Like you're laughing at me.
You mumble when you speak to me,
Like I'm not worth enough for you to enunciate.
I'm disgusted with myself.
And you. How dare you.

Losing touch.

It's losing it's touch for me.
You're the only thing I could taste and smell all day today.
No matter how many times I showered and brushed my teeth.
And I don't know what to do when you linger in my car.
I'm not sure how I feel about always driving.
I wish you weren't afraid to touch me when I'm sober.
It's not romantic.

Beautiful

I don't like talking to the therapist.
She only wants to know what's wrong,
She doesn't care if it's beautiful.

Lame.

I just remember waiting to feel sad.
Waiting to feel like it was over.
Like something had happened.
Only there was never one specific moment.
It happened over time.
Kind of how we never really started.
I know it's lame but I loved you.
I know that in another life we probably would have been perfect.

Lose Yourself

I just really like the way you smell and how you circle your fingers on my arm and kiss my shoulders. And you didn't try to get me upstairs and you let me sleep on you. You're a good guy, that's all.

New York City

I don't mind going with the flow, until it starts to lead no where.

Counselor

You'll never understand.
Too focused on fixing what's wrong, you skip to the solution.
None of the formula-like approaches you learned in college will turn my life around.
That's not even what I'm asking for.
Stop stop stop moving on and just listen.
Just because this is your job doesn't mean I'm work.
You end my hour early and start late.
Even the fucking counselor can't wait to get rid of me.

Oh, Calm Down

I've found that people love when you get upset, and overreact.
It gives them something to hold against you.
Even if you were right to be angry.
Getting upset over something small doesn't make it any more important.
And it doesn't make you any more interesting.