Homesick

You never asked me about my days while I was away.
When I told you stories you kept yourself busy and distracted.
You never welcomed me home or called to see when I would be back.
I was suprised how easily I fit in with their family and how hard it is to come back home.
But lying in bed those 9 long nights, I couldn't tell you why, but I sometimes ached for the awful way you make me feel.
Even though you do everything to make me feel like I don't belong, for some reason I do.

Hitting the Curb

I think it would have mattered if you had wished me luck today.
Even if you were tired this morning, couldn't you still understand?
I needed you to tell me I could do it, instead of just being there when I failed.

Escaping

Driving in your hand-me-down car with a good song playing.
The whole entire world was flying by as we rolled within the boundaries of our tiny little town.
I don't believe I could ever forget you.

No shame in saying thank you.

I hope that girl makes it to LA.
I hope that man puts down his flask and takes care of his dogs.
And I hope Uncle Tim gets that job.
I hope that kid from the restaurant finds whatever the hell he's looking for.
And I hope I figure out where the hell I'm going.
That's it for tonight.

Mint.

It's probably weird that I still wonder what would happen if we ran into eachother one of these days. I think I would tell you that I'm sorry. And I would probably tell you why I acted how I did, but only if you asked. I would probably talk about my sister. And my parents. Because I never did before.
Then again, you probably wouldn't ask. You were never one to focus on the past. So maybe we would get coffee, like from starbucks or something and talk about college and summer. Maybe we would talk about the stars too.
Of course you would mention your girlfriend and I would mention nobody. I would probably say how I'm hardly ever happy in a relationship, how I worry too much and I wouldn't want to pull another person into my mess of a life if it wasn't necessary.
But only if you asked. And I would hope that you'd ask me about alot of things because I've always felt like I had something to prove to you. Maybe it's because you knew me at my worst, or because we never really knew eachother as well as we should have.
And all of this because of the mint tea im drinking for the first time in over a year reminds me of the nights I couldn't sleep and used to think about these things. And because whenever I think of a boy, I think of how he doesn't call just to say goodnight, or constantly ask me what song I'm listening to, or call me at 4am to say happy birthday, or tell me I'm beautiful because he thinks so and not because he wants something.
No one cares as much as you used to.
I don't know what I'm searching for anymore.

So glide away on soapy heels, and promise not to promise anymore

I can't remember wether you first started to treat me like just another one of your girls, or if I first began to act like one. But I realize... it was never even close to being right. The fact that you and I even knew each other existed was too much imbalance for the universe to handle, and quickly everything fell back to the way it was before. I am once again sitting here at 2 in the morning, and you won't remember what happened last night when you wake up tomorrow afternoon.

To tell the difference between shooting stars and satelites

I am starting to look like how I feel.
I am so transparent sometimes.
Today felt like it lasted three lifetimes.
Three lifetimes of a sad messy lie.