Far away

I can't even go back to the fucking therapist because I feel like I let her down. I can smell your breath still. And even when you're right in front of me, I can't seem to wake myself up. I'm far away and disconnected.
All the time.

Nervous

I can't get the taste of you out of my mind.
Same with this sore throat I have in the middle of summer.
And it's so difficult to connect the two.
Because one says you care about me, and the other says you don't.
And the thing is, I really started to like you, a lot.
But I don't know whether I should kiss you or turn away in disgust.
And I definitely don't know how to tell you.

So uncontrolably angry.

I think about how things have changed.
My mom is good at handling all the cliche teenage stuff I've been doing lately.
Because I bet she thought about it. And thought of what she would do if her kids ever did those things. But she never thought about anything else I would do. Not even when I was doing it. And I think that's why she got so angry. Why she always gets so angry. She knows that beating your kids will hurt them. But I don't think she knows what words do. Or at least she's never sat and thought about it. Never considered that maybe all that hatred is completely unnecessary.
There is just something inside her that makes her so uncontrollably angry.

Fireworks

I'm doing all the things we said we would do together with him.
I don't wish it was you, and I don't really miss you.
I just kind of realized.
I shouldn't end this just because I'm not used to it.
Just because it might be a little difficult.