Kiss me goodbye, I'm Defying Gravity.

I went to see wicked on broadway a few months ago for an early birthday present. I think the song 'Defying Gravity' sums up the entire play. It gives me chills whenever I hear it. I've always believed that gravity is a metaphor for many things...
I am not a huge fan of the theatre, but I do have an appreciation for it. And I absolutely love this play. It covers so many things, but all at once it's really simple. "I hope you're happy"

"I'm through accepting limits

'cause someone says they're so

Some things I cannot change

But till i try, I'll never know

Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love I guess I've lost

Well, if that's love

It comes at much too high a cost

I'd sooner buy defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I'm defying gravity

And you can't pull me down"

The lyrics alone are beautiful, but hearing it performed it amazing. Here is a link for a video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3YZYamkCEw

Away

The way you try to scare me.
The way I push people away.

"I'm starting to believe the ocean's much like you, because it gives and it takes away"

Equilibrium

She remembered that day as the worst day ever. Remembered it every year.

It used to start every night around 1am. I never really noticed the equilibrium of beauty and tragedy. I only cry that hard once in a while now. I think those good times felt even better because I had something so terrible to compare it to.

And now it's all lost, but 'God is still in the business of redemption'

Runnin' with believers, no time for fever

Losing track of the days.

Sometimes we can pray through our actions.

Say what's on our minds...

Walk on, Walk on , Walk on

She couldnt perform until he got there.
And when he did she smiled more and moved flawlessly.
And we all watched and cheered her on.
The thing that I love the most about being with them
is that they care so much.
They knew how important this was to her.
There was nowhere else we would rather be.

I never wanted to forget.

I dont feel familiar feelings like I used to.
I remember things. But I can't feel them so much anymore.
I never wanted to forget.
Those feelings are so distant.
There is nothing left between us.
But I'm thinking maybe this nothing is better than tension and bitterness and leftover apologies.
I guess that maybe now I'm free from all of those feelings.
To carry on without attachments.
I think it feels okay being unattached to anyone.
I am afraid to let myself be defined by another person.
I dont know if that is good or bad.

Resolution.

Wanting to be where I am.

It's easier said than done.

Happy New Year :)

Remember you said we would get married.
We said we would love eachother forever, and ever, and ever...
But I keep getting lost in the present.
And I'm pretty happy.

Snow Globes and Music Boxes.

Christmas is what I see?
Then christmas is a second grader drawing a sun on my hand with purple marker.
Playing 'are you smarter than a 5th grader?'
Hiding brustle sprouts. Remembering things.
"It's just a hard christmas this year" he said.
I had never seen him cry before.
Nobody ever wants to sing on rockband.

Sometime around midnight

Someone always cries on Christmas.
But It's frustrating to me how I am supposed to ignore it and just pretend, because it's christmas.
Theres always an excuse for why we shouldnt deal with something sad.
He cried that evening and fell into his own arms. All I could do was watch.

And this morning they argued with me. I think if they were really as happy as they act they wouldnt argue at the slightest notion.

And my grandmother used to come every christmas morning. Remember when we got that Dream Street CD? Our family room used to look so big.
One single couch and a christmas tree, the only furniture. Fresh white carpet, new white walls. Mom was never big on color. Wrapping paper and pine needles, because we used to get a real tree. Boy bands blasting and cart-wheels and snow falling out the window as the sky grew darker and colder. But it was warm inside and there was no school for a while. That was all that mattered. We used to have christmas at our house. Unfortunately, it was built on a broken bond.

At dinner today, we said grace and she was thinking of Uncle Gene. I think everyone could tell.
She didnt say much, but it meant alot. Sometimes words fail. I think maybe that's love.

The difference between my two holidays is that some people care and some people only care about "making conversation".