Bulletproof weeks

I'm spending time going back tonight.
Because the other day, my mom asked me if I wanted to go see Jamie tworkowski speak at sage college. And I had forgotten about how much To Write Love On Her Arms has meant to me. And how I found them in the first place.
I used to want to be an intern for them in florida. I remember saying I want to be a part of this. I think it might be uncomfortable to go with her though. Because she used to come to church with me, and it was uncomfortable. They would talk about love and God and she would nod and make sounds of agreement like she lived that way.
And it bothered me so much. Because her nodding and righteousness didn't matter. Thats not what any of it was about. It's about humanity and community, and you're supposed to do something, not sit there and nod and look like a good person. And then when it's over go home and act hateful, because you nodded in church so people think you're good. No.
I don't want this night to end up like church.
But also, I don't understand how she thinks.
I don't know if I can talk to her during the car ride home about what they will say.
Because to her, it will only be something to talk about.
But I wonder, if I tell her what I think of the world, how will it hit her?
If we talked about all those people I said
You know what, sometimes I dont blame them.