I should care about things more when I have them.
I'll remember to call you at 4 in the morning on your birthday. You will always be in my heart. And that hurts to think about, but theres nothing I can do. This is the way things are.
"but I had a bigger heart, I've had more room for you from the start and you cant believe your bones you had finally found some light in a dark world that doesn't like love.
If i was up in space hanging out with the stars, I'd look for the brightest one and know exactly where you are. Tonight without me by your side. I want to radiate like you do"
I made caitlin and erin watch elf with me tonight. it was over by 8 and we all fell asleep.
And I am going to leave these tears behind again. Because you dont care anymore, and we have new lives. But I bet this wont be the last time I cry over you.
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I said I wasnt going to mention it, But I did. oh well.
I was right, that wasnt the last time I cried over you. But I was also wrong, I wont always carry you in my heart. You dont belong there. But I was also right again, I left this behind. and I will continue to leave it behind furthermore.
And that quote is from a song my jason reeves. It says 'I want to radiate like you do'
But you dont radiate. atleast not to me. not anymore. Your glow was fake. built up with words and lies. and empty promises.
And I should have known better.
I'll remember this.
I'll radiate on on my own. I'll find a way.
Funny how the song "goodbyes" plays when I open this post.
There is no way to leave you behind. Its part of my life. It has been since the moment it started. I am no longer trying to forget about you because I know I wont. And I will always remember the person I wanted you to be. It will remind me to never settle for anything less than I deserve.
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